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The Roast of Somizi is already a big hit for us, and it’s only just gone live

The celebrities on stage at the Comedy Central Roast of Somizi had over 5.5m followers on Twitter, so it’s no surprise the Roast trended there.

But how did the celebs handle the live audience? Read our R18 scorecard below, then go watch the extended, uncensored version that’s now on Showmax, and let us know how you’d score them, using #roastza on social media.

SKHUMBA  |  Pre-roast fear factor: 9/10

Hottest roast: To Gareth Cliff: “You know you are useless in life when you leave a show and no one cries. When you left Idols, no one… Not even Unathi.”
Coldest shade: “I’m the face of McCafe: happy, bright, exciting. And DSTV. You have OLX. Ugly, old, difficult to sell.” Somizi
Post-roast rating: 10/10

JOANNE JOSEPH | Pre-roast fear factor: 6/10

Hottest roast: “Somizi, I love you but you were really crap in Sarafina when you tried to play that straight guy.”
Coldest shade: “Joanne, you went from a national TV station to a regional radio station – your career is in reverse. You’re like the Benjamin Button of South African media. What’s next for you? Touch HD?” Gareth Cliff
Post-roast rating: 9/10

SCHALK BEZUIDENHOUT  |. Pre-roast fear factor: 6/10

Hottest roast: “I’m very sad that you’re no longer single. The last time I had sex with someone as beautiful as you was when I was f**king Maps Maponyane… You know the guilty smile he has on those Samsung ads? That’s because he exploded harder than the Galaxy Note 7.”

Hottest roast [alternate, safer version]: “Gareth, I don’t understand how there’s so much hatred coming out of your mouth when so many men have put love inside it.”

Coldest shade: “Schalk, you look poor, like you’ve wasted your white privilege… We take one look at you and we know you don’t have the land.” Skhumba
Post-roast rating: 8/10

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